Did you know money problems are one of the biggest sources of stress in relationships?
In a bank survey, 35% of respondents said financial issues were the main cause of tension in their partnership.
Interestingly, money is also one of the top things couples avoid talking about. When asked what they keep from their partners, past relationships ranked first for both men and women—but reckless spending came in a close second.
Learning to Manage Money as a Couple
Figuring out finances together can feel awkward at first, but it’s crucial for a lasting relationship. You’ll need open, honest conversations about income, spending habits, and cutting unnecessary expenses. If you’ve struggled with this before, don’t worry—we’ve got some helpful tips.
Here are 21 essential rules for managing money as a couple.
1. Be Open About Your Current Financial Situation
Honesty is key. To plan for the future, you both need to know where you stand right now.
Share details about:
- Your current finances
- Any debts
- Monthly financial obligations
- Credit history, savings, and future money goals
Useful Tip: If you don’t know your credit score, tools like CreditSesame offer a free check.
Good to Know: Discuss your money habits too. Are you a saver? A spontaneous spender? Do you try to set aside a fixed amount each month? Understanding each other’s approach makes it easier to find a strategy that works for both.
2. Split Financial Responsibilities
Who handles the monthly budget? Pays the bills? Manages grocery shopping? Clear roles make couple money management smoother.
Good to Know: Couples juggle many expenses—rent, utilities, loans, groceries, savings, etc. Being on the same page helps avoid late payments. The best approach? Both partners stay equally involved.
3. Joint or Separate Finances?
This one sparks a lot of debate. Should you combine incomes or keep them separate?
A Few Interesting Facts:
- More young couples are choosing separate accounts, especially those with lower incomes.
- For some, having personal control over money feels more important than joint accounts as a sign of commitment.
- Millennials marry later and value financial independence, which plays into this trend.
There’s no right or wrong answer—just what works for you. But once you decide, explain your reasoning to your partner. Both setups have pros and cons.
Keep in Mind: The priority is covering essentials together. After that, you can decide whether to save, invest, or spend leftover money individually.
4. Pick the Right Financial Tools
Use tools that keep you accountable. For investing as a couple, Personal Capital is a great option—it helps with personalized strategies, tax planning, and more.
Pro Tip: There are also tools for budgeting, tracking income, managing debt, and retirement planning.
5. Build an Emergency Fund
Even if you’re loose with spending, emergencies happen. Aim to save at least six months’ worth of income to cover unexpected costs like medical bills, job loss, or family crises.
Good to Know: Small, regular savings can grow this fund over time.
6. Track Your Budget
Creating a budget is one thing—sticking to it is another. Regularly check if you’re staying within limits for each expense category.
Useful Tip: A color-coded spreadsheet makes it easy to see where your money’s going.
7. Start Retirement Planning Early
No matter your age, the sooner you start, the better. Discuss retirement goals with your partner to align your plans.
Pro Tip: Experts recommend beginning in your 20s. If your employer offers a 401k, max it out. Otherwise, explore other investments like Fundrise (a real estate investment platform).
8. Tackle Tough Money Conversations
Some topics are uncomfortable, but avoiding them only makes things worse. If money’s tight, talk openly—blaming each other won’t help. Instead, focus on solving the issue together.
Did You Know? Letting your partner share their perspective makes finding a solution easier.
9. Find Smart Ways to Save
Planning a house, kids, or big purchases? Look for habits you can adjust now to save more.
Pro Tip: Apps like Ibotta give cashback on everyday purchases. Also, explore discounts on travel, childcare, and entertainment.
10. Use Separate Accounts for Specific Expenses
Consider joint accounts for:
- Essentials (rent, bills, groceries)
- Fun spending (dates, travel, luxuries)
Pro Tip: Decide how much goes into each account by revisiting Rule #1.
11. Discuss Worst-Case Scenarios
No one likes thinking about emergencies, but preparation reduces stress. Ask:
- What if one income disappears long-term?
- How would you handle serious illness or family loss?
12. Update Beneficiaries
If you’re in a serious relationship, update beneficiaries on accounts like 401ks, insurance, or investments.
Pro Tip: If you don’t want to name your partner, discuss it openly.
Good to Know: Tools like Bloom 401k help manage retirement savings efficiently.
13. Schedule Regular Money Check-Ins
Finances change—promotions, job switches, or new goals mean revisiting your plan. Set a monthly “money date” to review and adjust.
Keep in Mind: This should be an ongoing conversation.
14. Set Boundaries with Family
Couple finances often involve extended family. Discuss:
- Supporting kids, elderly parents, or disabled relatives
- Handling requests for loans (it’s okay to say no)
Pro Tip: If you do lend money, set clear repayment terms.
15. Consider a Prenup
Though sometimes seen as unromantic, prenups can strengthen marriages by addressing financial “what-ifs” upfront.
Pro Tip: If marriage is on the horizon, discuss your feelings about prenups early.
16. Explore Ways to Earn More
If your budget’s tight, brainstorm extra income streams—side gigs, investments like Worthy Bonds (5% returns), or part-time work.
Good to Know: Check out 100+ ways to make extra money.
17. Talk Before Assuming the Worst
Spot a weird transaction? Ask your partner first—it might be a mistake. Investigating behind their back can break trust.
18. Get Professional Help if Needed
If you’re stuck, a financial advisor or tool like Trust & Will (for estate planning) can help.
19. Keep Some Financial Independence
Even in joint finances, maintain a little autonomy for hobbies or personal spending.
Keep in Mind: Smart spending > just earning more.
20. Never Hide Spending
Made an impulse buy? Fess up—secrets cause more harm than the purchase itself.
21. Embrace Your Differences
Opposite money habits (saver vs. spender) can actually balance each other out. Play to your strengths—one handles savings, the other manages bills.
A Great Benefit: Over time, you’ll find a system that works for both of you.